Selfish Am I
October 31st, 2007
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I walk to all my classes because getting a bike is a hassle for me and I would always worry about it getting stolen.
Today I’m walking and I pass this girl who’s sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, her nose stuck in this little book, and a pen ready in her right hand. It’s the second time I’ve seen this girl in that same position. And I recognize the book she holds in her hand. I have one of my own — a pocket New Testament bound in green leather.
This time though, I get a glimpse of pages of highlighted phrases and notes scrawled in the margins.
What is it like to have such passion? To want to spend every possible moment in such a way?
As I pass her, I remember how many times I’ve been selfish for the past few months. Watching movies/tv shows I’ve seen time and time again instead of spending it with people. Being absorbed in my work instead of spending time talking to the junior high kids that make even the slightest attempts at iming/emailing me. Wanting things out of relationships that wouldn’t benefit other people.
What would it be like to live a life completely not of my own?
Am I scared of what that would mean?
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