Do I have to dream?

March 28th, 2006 Entries

I used to love to dream. And I don’t mean daydreaming while in Algebra class… and any other class for that matter. Dreams were exciting and places I could escape to where I was anything I wanted to be.

I’ve had dreams of where I jumped so high in volleyball that I could touch the ceiling every time I went up for a spike. I’ve had dreams of being drafted into the Marines, only to find out that the “combat” we had to partake in was using Gameboy colors to fight the enemy. I’ve had a dream where I punched someone in the face only to wake up and see myself punch the wall, which scraped my knuckles. I love having those dreams of where you’re falling, but I haven’t had that in a long time.

But I stopped dreaming when high school started, only having dreams during the summer, and once in a while during the school year. And sometimes, a part of them would turn out to be true..

Recently though, I’m getting dreams again. And they are inescapable. I feel so tired and exhausted after I wake up. I don’t know what they mean and I wake up with this gut-renching feeling in my chest. I’ve already had three different dreams to this dream topic…

God, can you just make them stop?

I believe there’s a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams.

Spring Break Recap

March 21st, 2006 Entries

Spring Break was… busy, a foreshadow of how the rest of this school year will be. But it was good to be home, to eat some awesome homecooked meals and to just spend time with family… and Summer the dog. Naps are just better when the warm body of a dog is snuggled right up next to you. But besides that… I didn’t do much at all during Spring Break… except HOMEWORK! yay!

Yes… our design teacher had a project due right after we got back from Spring Break, so I made sure I finished it in Maryland.

My dad has a video clip of me taking over the living room (it’s where the TV is.. yay for Scrubs!) with all my paper and paint and crap, hunched over to the point that my back still feels sore today, and in tears. If you ever see it though, he probably edited out the tears bit.

Surprise!

March 12th, 2006 Entries, Noteworthy

As everybody-in-the-world-except-for-my-parents knew, I went back to MD for spring break. The ticket had been bought a month ago (which screwed up some things in Cali, but whatever) and an intricate plan was drawn up for the sole purpose of giving my parents a heart attack. Both of them. And to annoy my sister. Of course, most things that are “well-planned out” don’t actually ever work according to plan.

The Flight
Since it was scheduled to depart from LGB (Long Beach airport for all those not familiar with airport lingo) at 8am, my uncle and I decided that he would pick me up at 6:30am. And since I am very responsible, I set my alarm for 5:45am so I would wake up, do some last minute stuff and not be late for my flight. I wake up at 5:45am, and I think to myself, “wait… I’m already done” and decide that I can reset my alarm for 6:10am and still be good. The next thing I know, my cell phone is vibrating on the window sill (it’s the only place there’s any reception) and it’s my uncle on the other line.

Uncle: Daniel, where are you?!
Me: In Arcadia…
Uncle: I’ve been waiting outside since 6:20
Me thinking… my alarm hasn’t even gone off yet, signifying 6:10. How could he have been waiting since 6:20?!
Me: Uh… okay… I’ll be right out.

That’s when I decide it’s a good time to take a look at the clock, which just happens to say 7:12. GAH! I bolt out of bed, slam my suitcase shut, debate for 2 seconds whether I’ll brush my teeth or not, and out of respect for future people around me on the plane, decide to brush my teeth. I’m out of the house at 7:15. My uncle and I both decide that since my flight is at 8, that I can still make it in time. We talk about how the intricate plans may have crumbled, either because I might miss my flight, or because he called my mom asking for my cell phone number. I arrive at LGB at 7:50, knowing that I have time to get from check-in (no luggage to check-in yay!) and through security.

Unfortunately, I’m not able to check-in.. and some of you may have already guessed it. Yeah, I forgot that flights close 30 minutes before departure. I’m not about to cry, because that’s what pansies do (Korean Tofu HINT HINT) but I’m about to punch myself in the face… twice.. for being so stupid. But the lady says that I can be on standby and after making sure that it’s no extra cost and that I’m pretty much guaranteed a seat, I agree. My uncle leaves and I call ahead to my ride in MD that I’ll be taking the next flight.

So there I am, waiting for the next flight (10:55am), taking advantage of LGB JetBlue’s wireless hotspot, which is free but saddingly slow. I even start on some reading for my classes, dozing off 3 times, for about 5 minutes at a time, each time waking off and fearing that the flight has already left me… again. Finally the plane comes, they say I have a seat and I run off to the plane, happy that at least one part of the plan is going to work out.

Arrival: IAD (Washington/Duless International Airport)
The first thing I do once I arrive is call my mom. I tell her that I’ll be staying over at some friends’ apartment over the weekend and to let my great-grandma know so she won’t worry. And to clear up why my uncle called her this morning (he told her I needed to buy “stuff) I told her I needed some more art supplies (technically true… I’m out of yellow gouache) and that we needed to go early because I had a Music Ministry meeting later in the afternoon (also true… I had to miss it cause of my trip).

Mom: There’s no way you can come for spring break?
Me: Nope. None at all.
Mom: Not even for a few days?
Me: I have a lot of projects to do (completely true).

She seemed sad, but understood. Later, before my church friend picked me up from the airport, she called again. I couldn’t pick it up because there was the ever-annoying loudspeaker message “Attention passengers. Please do not leave your luggage or baggage unattended. Unattended bags will be taken and processed. And the good things from them will be taken for our own personal use” and the same thing repeated, but in Spanish. So I talked to her again after the message was out and then my friend came and everything was going somewhat according to plan again. We met up with some other church friends, ate dinner, watched other people play games at DMB and then went to his place in Virginia. We agree to leave the house around 8:50 so we can get to church before 9:30 and do a sound check before I go and hide so my parents won’t see me. Oh boy.

Showtime
I had set my computer to wake up at 8 and to wake me up at 8:15. You can see a trend here… I didn’t wake up. And my friend knocked on the door of the room I was staying in until I woke up at 8:45. I was wondering why I was dreaming of hearing knocking… but yeah, we leave late and arrive at 9:44ish. Time for Plan B. Which is… my friend (Nelson.. so I can stop typing “my friend” and feel all awkward)… which is… Nelson and his wife going in to set up for worship. They then have me come in when the rest of the church is in prayer meeting, whereupon I hide in the storage closet. And then while Grant, who’s speaking, prays before worship, I come out and sit down to lead worship (which wasn’t that awesome cause I wasn’t really able to practice the set and because I haven’t been in front of a microphone… since August… but I digress).

My sister (Whitney) almost ruins the entire thing. During the prayer, she decides to think “Hmm… there are a lot of footsteps” and thus opens her eyes, screams silently and is about to tap my mom during the prayer, until I say “NO” to her with my eyes. Or maybe she figured she should actually be praying. Anyway, she goes back to praying and when the prayer’s over. My mom and dad look up and freak out. I don’t really know how to describe her face. But since everybody else at church already knew I was coming, they laughed at her.

It was nice seeing everyone. I really miss the sense of close community from being a part of this group, how we’re able to share even the simplest things going on in our lives. And talking to Evelyn, who’s in second grade and has a Russian teacher (ouch!) for the violin makes me feel old.